Patricia Allen, CRNA

My previous CRNA left me trapped between the fourth & fifth dimensions. I was literally coming and going simultaneously. Then Mr. Paddles, a tiny penguin who lives in my CPAP mask, suggested that I contact Ms. Coyne and pay her a visit. Her office visit fee was one Chia seed. I only had half, so her staff convinced BCBS to cover the rest. Ms. Coyne informed me that this was truly the dawning of the age of Aquarius and The 5th Dimension was with me, and Mr. Paddles too. (Oh my!) She told me how she used to spell her first name with three T's, and decades later still carries a torch for an extremely eccentric piano man who moved away to Texas, married a beautiful young Spanish princess, and became a wealthy entrepreneur. But she could sense an empty sadness in his eyes. At the end of our time together, Ms Coyne gave me a little bag of dried soft shell crab meat and told me to eat a bit every time I think about my previous life as a sculptor in Berlin. I think she cried a little too.